Forward with Fireworks

I wouldn’t call my new blog a full-fledged enterprise yet; but, after the last year, it’s time to commit to my dreams and ever expanding possibilities. I’m sure it seems small to merely just chat-up some peeps on your life or the world, but I think by some time in adult-hood we learn that it’s far easier to discuss our personal issues with strangers. And, we all have stories to tell in a life where we get what we get; however, I’ve certainly learned it’s not what we get but manage, cope and enhance our lives with what we do get that matters.

Perhaps, a more realistic, less optimistic view but I argue it’s merely the truth and honesty is the first key toward acceptance, triumph and the inner peace those triumphs ensure.

Now, this isn’t about the colloquial “poor me;” this is about experiencing your emotions and coping with them and the stress of life, but unfiltered. I’m tired of that irritating filter I had for most of my life; some of it was good, some just useless fluff filled with guilt and not wanting to throw the truth around as it really is. For the first time, probably since my freshman year in college, I feel like I have passion again and must express myself and move forward with those passions — now, not later. So it’s pushed me to begin a new blog, thoughts and more sooner than I planned and begin writing and build a better life for myself; I’ve had the strength and determination to do whatever I focus on, no matter the hurdles. We all have the strength in ourselves to reach in with the jaws of life and pull out what we need to make what our desires happen regardless of the work. I just look at my mom, family and generations before mine — their sacrifices, determination and strength answers where ours began.

I’m intent, far more than ever, to help people and no longer chase or follow my dreams similar to why I want politicians to stop saying “for our children” or “for the future.” I am doing it now, not later and our political solutions should be now, not later. Truth be told and that is what this is about, regardless if the world has access, is that I’ve always wanted to be an author from the earliest days of elementary academia. I’m thirty-one and ready to admit many truths including that I’ve been my own biggest obstacle. This concept of course is not unfamiliar to most of us regardless of background, wealth, culture, race and so on; those caveats can and do affect our lives, however unfortunate that reality is. But, I’m not speaking of some Oprah-effect where every one can surpass the odds in the eyes of the world, but rather more of a personal one. I never dreamed of loads of cash, fame or prestige but merely success on my terms, peace and happiness.

I used to have this enormous monkey on my back filled with guilt that one friend once told me was a useless emotion and shame that for every one seems to hide in the dark. Together with those when others told me once I wasn’t good enough despite my yearning to push even higher and that my determination and boundaries know no bounds, made me realize how fat said monkey had gotten. Filled with infinite amounts of gray, my life and viewpoints function usually in those gray areas with contradicting effects in the black and white. One could see the failure but one could also see the success, strength and fortitude it takes to continue and never give up.

Despite my some what inflated ego at times, this one took me time to see with clear lenses and for the rewards that it brings. Honestly, I didn’t really believe in miracles before but in a way I now do. We all take life for advantage and either choose to ignore or remain blind to the certainity that life is a miracle itself. It can begin so easily for some, yet much harder for others; and on the opposite so abruptly end and with unbelievable agony and grief that it shows the ubiquitous ‘tree of life.’ I’m moving forward with fireworks with a plan of action like I have never before!